Virginia’s approach included many forms of consciousness including feelings, perceptions, expectations, beliefs, meanings etc. The Couples Iceberg can be used with couples to help couples gain insight into issues affecting their relationship and it can also be used to specify their goals for treatment. Most therapy models focus on one form of consciousness: emotions, cognition, behavior. Below the surface, the couple can list how they want to feel, think and believe about their relationship, at the end of therapy. On the surface of the iceberg the couple can list how they will act towards each other, at the end of therapy. The Couples Iceberg could also be used to have couples clarify their goals for counseling. Helping both people complete The Couples Iceberg can help them think about their behavior and communication in a different way. Below the surface feelings, past hurt, past communication, unspoken needs or family of origin issues could be listed. Below the surface are factors that influence or drive the behavior. For example, conflict or arguments or silent treatment is on the surface. On the surface of the iceberg, behavior in the relationship is listed. This iceberg can be used to help couples think about their behavior and communication with each other. The final iceberg is The Couples Iceberg. ![]() The Hidden Messages Iceberg could be used in a variety of ways to make hidden messages explicit. For example, if a couple is having trouble with their communication, this iceberg can help them think about hidden messages in their communication. Another way to use this type of iceberg is to help clients gain insight into their own communication with others. For example, on the surface is communication like, “go play with the other children.” The hidden messages are “introduce yourself to everyone, be nice, play with everyone, don’t get dirty, etc.” This is a concrete way to help children on the spectrum think about social expectations and social cues. So finding and choosing the right images for your website is essential to your brands success. Ask students to think about times when they felt angry and to name underlying feelings that contributed to that anger. ![]() Students expand their vocabulary of feelings. Point out that these two emotions are usually the most visible elements in conflicts. This type of iceberg could also work with children on the spectrum who are having trouble with social cues. A single photograph can stir up a symphony of emotions. At the top of the iceberg, write the words anger and blame on the board. Below the surface are hidden messages like “you will leave me, too” “you are out of control, just like him” “you won’t amount to anything.” This type of iceberg can help children and adults gain insight into hidden messages or beliefs passed down from parents. For example, a divorced mom says “You’re just like your dad!”” to her son which is above the surface. ![]() Below the surface are hidden messages or hidden meanings that are often communicated in relationships. Instead, when asked about emotions, they’ll describe physical symptoms, or talk about behavior. Individuals with alexithymia experience emotions, but have a hard time expressing and naming them. On the surface are spoken words, such as communication in relationships. Alexithymiadifficulty recognizing and verbalizing emotionsis a trait possessed by about 8 of males and 2 of females. The second way to use an iceberg is The Hidden Messages Iceberg.
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